The Reflectory

A place to reflect on a variety of topics.

It’s the Pictures That Got Small

Jul 1

Posted by Shmolnick in Movies, Pop Culture | No Comments

I love movies. Always have.

I grew up on Sean Connery as James Bond and great epics like Spartacus on Sunday Night at the Movies, classic horror films like the Frankenstein series and Fiend Without a Face on late night Chiller Theater, and family outings to movies such as Gone With The Wind and The Great Race and The Sons of Katie Elder. Later, I discovered classics such as Casablanca, Singing in the Rain, White Heat, Hitchcock and the Frank Capra film library, as well as unique and artistic foreign films by masters such as Kurosawa and Fellini. I learned to appreciate the raw star power of film legends Bogart, Cagney, Stewart, Gable, Davis, Hepburn and so on. And well into the 1970s, I enjoyed modern classics like The Godfather.

Thinking about the vast universe of motion pictures that has been an important influence on my life, I can’t help but notice one sad fact of 21st century America:

Modern movies generally suck.

It pains me to write that, because I do so love movies. But it’s true. Movies, and the entire movie-going experience, have gone sadly downhill.

Here are some examples of the general suckiness of modern movies:

Commercials in the theater. This is simply unacceptable on every level. If I want to see an ad, I can see one every single place in daily life; can’t we have just ONE place where we aren’t bombarded with silly, stupid, expensive advertisements? I pay ten bucks a pop to sit in a movie theatre; want me to come back? GET RID OF THE DAMNED ADS! How on earth could the movie business and the movie theatre business not know this? Why are they allowed to get away with it? When did it become acceptable to soak every fiber of existence in ubiquitous advertising? I don’t know, but I hate the ads.

No more movie stars. When I think of the great movies that I’ve loved, and that many people have loved, I think first of great stars who inhabited great roles. Men and women of real talent who burst off the screen in every scene. Stars and movies, and stars and roles, are interchangeable. When you think of a classic movie, you instantly think of the star. Think Casablanca – Humphrey Bogart! Claude Rains! Ingrid Bergman! Think brooding and troubled – Marlon Brando! Think over the top sexy – Marilyn Monroe! Think music and dancing – Gene Kelly! Fred Astaire! Think pyscho bitch – Bette Davis and Joan Crawford! Think macho superman – Charlton Heston and John Wayne! Think menacing gangster – James Cagney and Edgar G. Robinson! Think comedy – the Marx Brothers! The Three Stooges! And the list goes on. These days, you can count the true movie stars on one hand: Nicholson, Pacino, Streep, Clooney, Ford, Hanks, and yes, Cruise. And maybe Johnny Depp. But really, isn’t that close to a full list? The modern actor or actress is a pretty boy/girl running from CGI-generated set-piece to CGI-generated set piece. They don’t burst off the screen, they don’t hand us memorable lines that we will cherish for the rest of our lives, and they generally can’t act very well either. Whatever happened to the bigger than life movie star? It’s a dying breed. I think our 24-7 media-saturated existence has bestowed too much celebrity on too many undeserving people, and so we have lost that sense of wonder about movie actors and actresses, and they in turn have lost much of their mystique. Best example of this problem is poor Leonardo DiCaprio. The man tries, I know he does. But he’s just a lightweight. He cannot carry a movie to save his life. He is not memorable. I don’t run to the theatre to see his latest picture. Yet he’s presented by the entertainment establishment as some kind of huge movie star. Uh, he ain’t.

The special effects are more important than the story. – Why does every movie have to have giant CGI-generated set pieces? Why do the actors seem lost amid the special effects? Whatever happened to good solid storytelling? I recently watched the movie “Body of Lies” with the aforementioned Leonardo DiCaprio and Russell Crowe. Great explosions. Great torture scenes. HORRIBLE, BORING MOVIE. I mean come on, at least Crowe can act. But he was lost in this pile of incoherent exploding dreck. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good action film with over the top violence. But this film was simply awful.

Few good, original stories. Hey, let’s make a series of super-hero movies! Hey, let’s make a remake of an old TV show! Hey, let’s make a remake of an old classic! Hey, let’s edit this piece of shit like it’s an MTV music video! Dammit, I want a story! I want conflict and resolution, I want characters and sparkling dialog. THAT’S what I will remember. But Hollywood is no longer run by movie-lovers. The movie business is more business than movies, and that is a very sad state of affairs.

No more memorable lines. “Louie, I think is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.” “Top of the world, Ma!” “So let it be written; so let it be done!” “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn!” “No Mister Bond, I expect you to die!” “Here’s looking at you, kid.” “I coulda been a contender.” “I could dance with you till the cows come home…On second thought, I’d rather dance with the cows when you came home.” “I’ll make him an offer he can’t refuse.” “Fasten your seatbelts, it’s going to be a bumpy night!” And the list goes on. These are timeless quotes which evoke the humor, tragedy, pathos and drama of classic movie scenes. Okay sure, once in a GREAT while we get the pleasure of a memorable line these days, (“Yippie ki-yay motherfucker” comes to mind, but even THAT was years ago now) but those are few and far between.

I could go on and on and on, but it’s depressing to think of what Hollywood has done to my beloved cinema. However, I will keep going to see movies because I still love them, and I still secretly hope that the next movie I see will be the one that I remember for years to come.

As Norma Desmond once wryly observed, “It’s the pictures that got small.” Yes, the pictures have gotten very small indeed.

Wabbit Season

Jul 1

Posted by Shmolnick in Pop Culture | No Comments

“Step right up, you’re doing fine

I’ll pull your beard, you pull mine
Yank it again, like you did before
Break it up with a tug of war.”

These are some of the lyrics to the square dance that Bug Bunny sings to the two hillbillies in the Warner Brothers cartoon comedy classic, “Hillbilly Hare.” Bugs becomes a square dance caller and sings a song that makes the two hillbillies perform acts of violence upon one another.

“Now into the brook and fish for the trout
Dive right in and splash about
Trout, trout, pretty little trout
One more splash and come right out.”

Trust me, it’s howlingly funny.

If you’re like me, you grew up watching the inimitable Bugs Bunny and all his cartoon friends, Daffy, Elmer, Sylvester and Tweety, Porky, the Roadrunner and the Coyote, Yosemite Sam, Marvin the Martian, Speedy Gonzalez and yes, even poor love-struck Pepe LePew, yuck it up in brilliantly conceived ten minute animated pieces of modern art. (Although to be honest, I never really cared for the Roadrunner. I always rooted for the coyote.) Available on virtually every TV channel at one time or another, I mention Bugs and the Gang for one reason:

They don’t seem to be on TV anymore.

At least not on my cable system. Even the old reliable June Bugs, the annual Cartoon Network Warner Brothers cartoon marathon, seems to be a thing of the past. Now if you recall, there WAS a movie a couple of years back called “Looney Tunes, Back in Action” but apparently, it did poorly enough at the box office for Warner Brothers to shut down production of a series of planned future Looney Tunes shorts and features. According to various google results, the classic cartoons starring Bugs and the gang ARE still in syndication, but I can’t find them. Even if they are, they don’t seem as popular as they should be. I mean, these are classics!

Is it the violence that keeps these cartoons on the far back burner of television entertainment? Is it the legalities of corporate ownership? Or is it just that today’s entertainment industry movers and shakers simply have no taste or foresight, except for instant profit? I don’t know the answer, but none of these reasons are acceptable to me.

Sure sure, I can buy DVDs of all my favorite Warner Brothers animated classics. And I have, and they claim a prominent place in my DVD collection. But it’s not the same thing as experiencing them on TV. Am I simply pining away for a bygone era whose time has long since past? If so, I mourn its passing.

These are cultural icons, come on! They never get old. And today’s children are being bombarded by the entertainment industry’s reliance on cheaply-made, tame and largely unfunny cartoons along with prepackaged, preteen celebrities and derivative and tame children’s sitcoms. If kids are going to spend all their time in front of the TV (which I don’t is a good idea at all), why not give them quality? Let them grow up watching Bugs and Daffy exchange quips:

“Duck season! Wabbit season! Duck season! Wabbit season!”

It STILL makes me laugh. Let these kids learn what real comedy is all about.

Let’s get Bugs Bunny back on TV. And while we’re at it, let’s show cartoons at the movies again, but that’s a subject for a different column.

The Soundtrack of My Life – 25 Albums that Shaped My World

Mar 15

Posted by Shmolnick in Music | No Comments

Well, here’s my list of 25 albums that shaped my life, more or less. These aren’t my favorites necessarily, although some on this list are.

1.    Rubber Soul – The Beatles
Loved the songs as a kid growing up, then loved the album in college and beyond. Still my favorite Beatles album. The Beatles shaped my musical tastes from 1964 on, no question.

2.    Last Train to Hicksville – Dan Hicks and his Hot Licks
The first Dan Hicks album I ever discovered and the last one before he broke up that classic band. It was years until Dan Hicks released another new studio album. Not many people know who this guy is, but I like him.

3.    Giant Steps – John Coltrane
Was enjoying some smoke in Paul Berzinis’ van  with Gary Dinoia in front of my house one night in high school. Dad was supposed to be working late. This album was what we were listening to. Suddenly there came a knock on the rear doors of the van and my father poked his head in and sniffed dramatically, then said to me, “Michael, meet me in my office in five minutes.” My favorite jazz album.

4.    50 Years of Swing – Tito Puente
A fairly recent discovery, Tito was El Rey de Timbale alright. Disc 3 of this collection ends with the superb live versions of Fiesta a la King and Oye Como Va. Introduced me to latin jazz, and now that is one of my favorite genres of music.

5.    A Man and His Music – Frank Sinatra
The album that introduced me to Frankie. A great collection on Reprise, got me through a weird period before I met my first wife when I was living with my parents and spending all my time in their basement doing um, stuff.

6.    Night Lights – Gerry Mulligan
First jazz album I ever heard. My parents owned it, and my friend Jimmy Miller and I used to listen to late at night when everybody else was sleeping. The title cut is sublime.

7.    Chicago 2 = Chicago
This could easily have been Chicago 3 as well. I was a band geek in high school; played the bass drum in the marching band and all my friends were in the band. This is what we used to listen to. Saw ‘em live once in New Haven; they played Got to Get You Into My Life by the Beatles as one of their encores.

8.    Something/Anything – Todd Rundgren
I almost put A Wizard A True Star in instead of this, but this was my first Todd experience. Simply brilliant and original from top to bottom.

9.    Freak Out – The Mothers of Invention
Another brilliant album. I enjoyed different sections of this album in different periods of my life, and in my opinion its STILL Frank’s best. I remember, da-doo-doo, I remember, do-doo-doo, I remember, da-doo-doo, they had a SWIMMING POOL!

10.    The Low Spark of High Heeled Boys – Traffic
Ah, Junior High School. My older brother used to play this all the time, and it reminds me of a pleasant period of my life when I was just learning to be a social animal.

11.    Roadwork – Edgar Winter’s White Trash
My brother’s band Rush played my 9th grade dance. Jimmy Miller and I used to attend their practices all the time and they played a bunch of songs from this great live album. The version of Still Alive and Well from this album is still a favorite of mine.

12.    Time Out – Dave Brubeck
Once upon a time, I was a piano player and after I discovered jazz, originally through Coltrane, Brubeck and this album was the next jazz recording I discovered.

13.    Serie Cristal – Tito Puente
Maybe my single favorite Tito album. One of those oddball collections of stuff from other recordings, but it does have about four or five outstanding live tunes in a row that simply make me want to get up and dance. Still a major favorite.

14.    American Graffiti  Motion Picture Soundtrack
So shoot me, I like 50s oldies. And this movie. Used to listen to this ALL the time.

15.    West Side Story – Original Broadway Cast Album
My mother is to blame for this, which also could have been The Music Man, My Fair Lady, South Pacific, Cabaret or Fiddler on the Roof. She used to love original broadway cast albums, and we heard this stuff all the time growing up. I still like show tunes to this day because of my mother.

16.    Pretzel Logic – Steely Dan
Reminds me of my high school days. First Steely Dan album I ever heard, I think the music on this one has a very cool sound.

17.    April in Paris – Count Basie and his Orchestra
Just brilliant, brash, swingin’ big band jazz. Let’s do it one more once.

18.    Soul Burst – Cal Tjader
Another latin jazz favorite. I have Larry Hoffer to thank for turning me on to Cal. Cal was an unlikely pioneer of latin jazz. A vibes player from the midwest, he became one of the most influential latin jazz artists, discovering other talents such as Vince Guaraldi and Poncho Sanchez.

19.    Carlos Santana/Buddy Miles Live
First album I ever bought. Have loved Santana ever since.

20.    Disney’s Fantasia Soundtrack – Leopold Stokowski and the Philadelphia Orchestra
Awesome classical music from an equally awesome film. Sorta represents my classical music tastes on this list.

21.    The Who By Numbers – The Who
Hat’s off to Sam Kramer for turning me on to this one, which remains my favorite Who album. Was never into the Who much before hearing this album.

22.    Jet Sounds – Nicola Conte
My introduction to lounge music. Love it, especially Bosse Per Due from the car commercial.

23.    Pictures at an Exhibition – Emerson, Lake and Palmer
Related to my piano playing youth, I used to love ELP. In fact, they were my first live rock concert, in Yale Bowl in high school. This was my favorite of theirs from that period.

24.    The Doors – The Doors
Sorry but I do love this album and used to listen to it ALL the time back in the day.

25.    Houses of the Holy – Led Zeppelin
When I was 17, I went to Florida with my mother and sister and the song Dyer Maker was on the radio station you listened to in your seat on the plane. Not my favorite Zep album, but this is the one that got me to listen to them.

Election Day 2008

Nov 4

Posted by Shmolnick in History, Politics, Uncategorized | No Comments

USA! USA!

I voted this morning. The line was around the local elementary school where I vote at 6:30AM. It’s never even been close to that crowded before. And watching some of the morning news shows before heading off to work, long lines and record turnout are being reported from across the country. It’s good to see.

Let’s hope we don’t fuck up somehow.

Happy Halloween

Oct 30

Posted by Shmolnick in The Human Condition, Uncategorized | No Comments

Yeah I know, pretty creepy huh?

Dead Shmolnick

Is Corporate America to Blame for the Country’s Problems?

Aug 4

Posted by Shmolnick in Politics, Uncategorized | No Comments

Here are a few items for your consideration regarding our very own United States of America:

  • A profit-driven health care system that is expensive, ineffecient, yields poor national health results and leaves millions of citizens without health care.
  • The price of gas is going through the roof while the oil industry makes records profits, and we’re still addicted to foreign oil imported from unstable and dangerous countries.
  • The housing and credit markets are in serious trouble.
  • Unlike every other democratized and industrialized nation on the planet, we still don’t have employee vacation time mandated by law.
  • Labor unions have been marginalized and demonized.
  • There has been a steady decline in the quality of television journalism and entertainment in general.
  • The government can now spy on you and they can get look at your phone records without your knowledge.
  • Broadband internet speed in the US is much lower than in other countries due to little investment in infrastructure.
  • CEO’s make obscene amounts of money even as they lay off workers or move their jobs overseas, and they are allowed to proclaim these as successes for their companies.
  • We continue to be bogged down in an expensive, never-ending war.
  • Our representatives in the national government are unable or unwilling to solve any of these problems, instead governing to the benefit of big business.

Now tell me honestly, can we not point the finger of blame at Corporate America for this laundry list of national disgraces?

The Ever-Useless Maureen Dowd

Jul 16

Posted by Shmolnick in Politics, Uncategorized | No Comments

Poor Maureen Dowd.

You know, the red-headed middle-aged NY Times columnist and sometime TV pundit who specializes in snarky, borderline nasty columns aimed at the personal habits of prominent politicians, and who for some unknown reason is considered attractive by a lot of the middle-aged men who pass themselves off as TV pundits (I guess, in a sort of bitter and sad but hard way).

Today her column focuses on why it’s hard to satirize Barack Obama, using the recent in-poor-taste New Yorker magazine cover as a focal point.

Poor Mo. She’s whining because she can’t make proper fun of the black guy. Aww.

Hey Maureen, last time I checked, there were TWO candidates for president, as well as the current “president,” whose incompetence should be providing a steady source of dark humor for years to come.

I guess it’s more fun to knock the democrats, eh Mo? (I still recall her memorable columns in 2000 criticizing Al Gore for his wardrobe choices. Yeah, real important issues.) Or maybe it’s because all these pundits just LO-OVE the crazy old white guy so much. After all, John McCain IS the straight-talk candidate, isn’t he?

Train Blog

Jul 16

Posted by Shmolnick in Uncategorized | Comments off

I take the train to work every day;  roughly an hour’s ride. I do like to drive into work once every week or so, just to keep my routine fresh. But mostly I’m a train commuter on Metro North Railroad’s New Haven line.

The only things I don’t like about taking the train are:

  • It makes my day longer, what with the extra time required to get to and from the train station on both ends of the trip, and making sure I’m there for the correct train so I get into work at the prescribed time. I have to get up earlier in the morning and I get home later in the evening. THAT I don’t particularly like.
  • It can get crowded, especially when Metro-North plays fast and loose with the number of cars on the train each day, and the price of gas, which is increasing train ridership (generally a good thing but still).

Ah, but today there was a surprise! One of the cars on the train this morning was a BAR CAR! Now don’t get excited, the “bar” portion of the car was not in operation. But for some reason I still can’t figure out, most commuters don’t like sitting on the bar car. The bar car does not have the rows of two- and three-passenger seats of the other cars, in which you often feel yourself pressed in like a sardine. No, the bar car simply has limited bench-type seating along the sides of the car, so there’s no seat in front or in back of you, just the strategically-placed cup holders (good for coffee!). So I’m enjoying some rare personal space on my morning commute.

Now if only they had that bar working.

“Busy”

Jul 16

Posted by Shmolnick in Politics, Sports, Uncategorized | No Comments

It’s been a while. I’ve been “busy.”

Busy adjusting to a new job with a longer commute but better pay. Busy twiddling my thumbs while I wait behind this gigantic creative block that has stood in my way all year.

The big block has apparently moved out of my way, and I’m back baby. So what’s been happening in the world while I’ve been “busy?” Let’s take a look.

The presidential campaign is upon us, with one party nominating a crazy old man and the other party nominating the proverbial fresh face. The corporate media (AKA “the mainstream media”) is in love with John McCain. I think they want to get down on their collective knees and suck on his straight-talk express. “WHAT A MAN!” I can hear all those TV pundits and attractive newsreaders breathlessly admiring the old coot, their eyelashes batting like a school girl’s.
Not that I’m in love with Barack Obama either, mind you. His recent statements in support of policies that I find questionable on a good day smells fishy to me, like a bait-and-switch (hey I used to work in retail). Obama’s great strength and the main reason he defeated Hillary Clinton for the Democratic presidential nomination is that he presented himself as a different kind of politician, a harbinger of hope and inspiration.

Recently, however, the O-man has:

  • come out in support of a FISA compromise bill that shreds the constitution by allowing the federal government to spy on American citizens and lets the telecommunications companies (Verizon, et al) off the hook for helping the government illegally spy on us, thereby breaking his earlier promise to filibuster said legislation;
  • made a wholly unnecessary speech pledging to continue Bush’s faith-based initiatives (i.e., giving my tax dollars to religious institutions over which there is little or no oversight for how the money is spent, praise Jesus);
  • supported the truly awful Supreme Court (another corrupt institution) that completely misread the Second Amendment (“A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the People to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.” You know, “a well-regulated militia.” I figure if the founding fathers had meant for people to have the right to bear arms period, the amendment would not have the “well-regulated militia” clause.);
  • was largely silent when the Supreme Court cut ExxonMobil’s punitive responsibilities for the Exxon Valdez oil spill disaster (knowingly letting a drunk captain the oil tanker);
  • came out in favor of the death penalty for child rapists (yeah O-man, let’s fry the bastards!);
  • refined his stance on ending the Iraq war, which I have no problem with (however long it takes to remove our troops is okay, as long as they’re removed), but failed to mention what happens to all the private security forces in Iraq, why we need a long-term presence there in the first place, and what happens with our keen interest in Iraqi oil;
  • changed his mind about accepting public campaign financing.

Meanwhile, I have yet to hear Barack come out with a detailed and PUBLIC plan for either our energy woes (high gas prices, importing too much foreign oil, not enough focus on alternate sources of energy), or our economic woes (the economy stinks unless you’re really wealthy). Yeah yeah, I know he’s got a bunch of policy statements on his web site, but that’s hardly the same thing as getting out there in front of the cameras and making a major speech on either of these important issues. In my opinion, such a public forum as a major speech has a much stronger effect that hard-to-find policy statements on a web site. A different kind of politician?

Uh, not so much.

But when all is said and done, I’d much rather have a corporate-backed Democrat as president than a corporate-backed Rebublican president any day of the week.

____________________________

Meanwhile, my beloved Los Angeles Dodgers really suck this year yet are only 1 game out of first place in the hapless NL West division. Yet more off-season money was spent on questionable free agents (Andruw Jones, not even hitting his weight). Super Joe Torre was hired to bring a championship to LA, but marquis manager is no miracle worker. But hey, we’re only one game out of first! We got us a pennant race baby! Well at least until we discover that we have no good substitute for the now-injured closer Saito.
Well my stop is coming up soon on this train, so I’ll end here.


Thinking about the Presidential Campaign

Feb 1

Posted by Shmolnick in Politics | No Comments

Obama and Hillary

I can’t believe that there is an actual possibility of having a President John McCain. I don’t think Hillary Clinton can beat him, and I’m not sure about Barack Obama.

The mainstream media, which influences most voters’ opinions on such matters, wants to get down on their knees and collectively suckle at the teat of McCain’s Straight Talk persona. No WAY that Candidate McCain gets any bad media coverage unless he flips out on camera somewhere and starts singing “Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran” again (although lots of nonthinking Americans who think its cool to bomb third world countries would like that), or rips the hearts out of living babies on live TV. I’d much rather see Mitt Romney as the GOP nominee in November because he seems like the ultimate empty suit to me, has done nothing BUT change his positions on virtually every issue, and could easily be defeated. Most people cannot see through McCain’s general insanity.

Hillary on the other hand automatically invites bad press coverage, the same kind of negative media saturation we experienced back in the heady days of Monica Lewinsky and Paula Jones. Does anyone really believe that we will NOT hear those reruns again, ad nauseum? And do we really want another traitorous Democrat in the White House? I say traitorous because Bill Clinton, while he was a successful Democrat and did preside over eight years of peace and prosperity (no small thing, true), also dragged the Democratic party to the right politically so as to co-opt enough of the conservative-leaning voters to win elections. They are very good at that sort of thing, but that sort of thing just gives conservative policies more credence. I think that has been bad for progressive and liberal policies.

So that sort of leaves Barack Obama by default, I suppose. But I’m not sold on the guy, nor am I sold on the idea that disgruntled independent voters all across the country will let themselves vote for a black man for president. I don’t know, maybe they will. There’s no way of knowing. I saw the O-man in person back in the fall at a campaign rally in Manhattan. He is an impressive speaker, and he seems to have the potential to be a transformational figure. But I don’t feel particularly moved by his vague message of change; I wish he’d talk about the details.

The upshot of all this is that the Democrats still have the edge in the election, and at the very least, they are usually quite competent at running the government. I’ve had enough of Republicans looting the treasury for their rich corporate elite friends and themselves.